If you or someone you know is recovering from love addiction, you’re probably already aware of the plethora of challenges along the way. There are many different things that will tempt the recovering love addict or potentially sabotage their recovery as they go along. Following are some very helpful tips for love addicts. Review it often!
Love Addicts List of Helpful Tips
1. Don’t ever, ever give up! Recovery is possible. If you slip, get right back up – or, as the old saying goes: “Fall 7 times; get up 8!”
2. Learn everything you can about your addiction.
3. Stick to your treatment program, even when you don’t feel like it. Attend every session.
4. Don’t compromise your personal values just to fulfill an urge.
5. Have a game plan in place for those times when temptation rears its ugly head.
6. Keep a log of all the times you are successful – this will help keep you motivated during the most difficult times because you’ll see how far you’ve come.
7. It’s okay to desire “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right” – BUT, don’t make it your highest priority or put your life on hold while you’re waiting – the more fully you live your life, the more attractive you will be to that right person for you when he or she comes along.
8. Don’t try to be someone other than who you really are.
9. No matter how low you feel, never put yourself down – truly be your own best friend and treat yourself with the same respect you would treat any dear friend.
10. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Holding grudges takes a lot of energy, and the underlying hurt and anger can be a trigger for giving into urges.
11. Don’t try to manipulate someone in an attempt to make them stay with you.
12. Don’t look to others to validate you – that must come within. The more you believe in yourself and value yourself, the more others will admire and respect you.
13. Don’t ever settle for Mr. or Ms. Wrong because you’re scared of being alone – you’ll just end up exchanging one type of pain for another.
14. Don’t dwell on past mistakes or regrets. Accept that you can’t change the past, forgive yourself, and focus on the present and the future.
15. Don’t make perfection a goal – it will never be attainable. Instead, strive to be excellent.
16. Surround yourself with trustworthy people who will support you while treating you with the respect you deserve.
17. Take responsibility for the decisions you have made.
18. When you’re feeling alone or scared, find opportunities to spend time with others in a healthy environment. This may include volunteer work or participating in support groups.
19. Remember that being alone does not mean you are worthless or undeserving of love.
20. Make time in your life to focus on something you are passionate about or that gives you a strong sense of purpose.
21. Rid your life of anything or anyone that is toxic or not good for you. This may include bad habits, a relationship with someone toxic, or replacing an old bad habit with a healthy new one. (Note – don’t try to do this all at once – just focus on one or two things or people at a time.)
22. Visualize often of a life without this addiction. Imagine yourself living that life right now, not some day down the road.
23. Learn something new that you enjoy. Focusing on a new task or project is a great way to ward off intrusive thoughts.
24. Make sure that your expectations of yourself as well as others is realistic.
25. Always stay focused on your goals and be true to your heart.
While this isn’t a comprehensive list by any means, it will hopefully help you see the importance of getting treatment for your love addiction.