A Lesson in Codependency

Posted by on 05 11 12 in Love Addiction News | Comments Off on A Lesson in Codependency

Codependency has its roots in alcoholism but it has evolved into much more than that. A codependent relationship is described as one in which an individual values the relationship more than he values his own wants and needs.

Codependency is usually dysfunctional as one person loses themselves in order to save a relationship that may not be worth saving.

A healthy relationship is built on mutual love, trust, and understanding. Because he may not be receiving what he needs, a codependent partner may experience episodes of low self-esteem and, therefore, try and overcompensate by smothering because he feels something is wrong with him.

There are a myriad of different reasons for codependency. As previously mentioned, codependency may stem from substance abuse such as alcohol. The codependent partner may fulfill some lack in his own life by performing the role of “savior” in his partner’s life.

Codependency may also come as a result of one partner investing more time and energy in the relationship than the other. It’s not healthy to remain in a one-sided relationship, and such a relationship can take its toll on a person’s psyche. There comes a point in this type of relationship where it may just be best to let go and move on.

Some codependent partners choose not to move on because they like the sense of control they get from managing a partner in weakness because it makes them feel better about themselves or brings them attention.

Still, others find it hard to leave because they enjoy being in a relationship, albeit a dysfunctional one, and may think they will never find or don’t deserve someone who will treat them better.

Experts say that those who find themselves in codependent relationships were often raised in a home where that was the norm, therefore they tend to gravitate toward that same type of relationship.