Can Love Addiction Be Mistaken As Drama?

Posted by on 12 27 14 in Love Addiction News | Comments Off on Can Love Addiction Be Mistaken As Drama?

If you took a look at Savannah’s social media, you might easily believe she had it all—high-end designer clothes, trips around the world, always on the arm of a handsome (though much older) man. The food she ate looked like art and even her “bored” and “sleepy” posts looked like something out of a Vogue shoot. But if you followed Savi for any length of time, you might notice that periodically, the men changed, and so did her apparent outlook.

At times—not infrequently—Savi openly posted images of herself crying, mascara running down her cheeks in what could only be for her, a beautiful mess. Her captions were dramatic and puzzling: “Lost,” or “Wish I could end it all.” Hundreds of strangers would then take to Twitter, begging Savi not to harm herself, and promising her it would be all right—that someone worthy of her would soon find her. The problem of course wasn’t that Savi had found no one worthy of her; it was that she did not believe she was worthy, all by herself.

Can Love Addiction Be Mistaken As Drama - LoveAddictionTreatment

The High Of A New Relationship And The Dramatic Low Of Breakups

The rush of a new relationship felt like a drug to the 24-year-old model. She loved feeling adored and desired more than anything. When a man was in pursuit, Savi’s whole world felt golden. Everything came alive. But these relationships never lasted, no matter how “meant to be” they seemed at first.

She had several love-at-first-sight stories, but the love hadn’t lasted 90 days, and every time the break-ups were disastrous. There was screaming, crying, broken glass and sometimes physical violence, usually on Savi’s part. She had pried, prodded and stalked her lovers and had blown up their lives when they refused to come back—telling their wives of the love affair, or their bosses of indiscretions revealed to her along the way.

Desperation And Pain Stemming From Childhood

Despite the high toxicity and self-sabotaging behavior, Savi could not bear to be alone. She felt desperate and unlovable during those times, and would do anything to get her fix. She drank more and partied longer; seeking men like a hawk seeks prey.

It didn’t help that her relationship with her family was stifled; her father had always been distant and emotionally aloof, and her mother was more concerned with her father’s attention than with giving time, energy or love to her only child. Savi was dealing with love addiction. She would finally reach out for help, but not before a string of painful breakups that left her questioning her identity and negatively impacting her self-confidence.

Signs Of Love Addiction

When you find yourself asking whether you or someone close to you may have love addiction, it’s important to know the characteristic traits. Here are some indications of the presence of love addiction:

  • Unable to tolerate being alone (feelings of worthlessness when alone)
  • Tendency to leave one relationship for another
  • Lack of secure attachment with primary caregivers as a child (inadequate nurturing and attention)
  • Lack of emotional support from parents and family; feeling isolated from family
  • Attempts to avoid rejection at all cost
  • Mistakes intensity in relationships for intimacy
  • Tends to fall head over heels and may express deep feelings before a connection could have adequately been forged (mistakes sexual attraction for love at first sight)
  • Relationships are frequently high-drama (intense feelings, passionate and conflict-driven)
  • Strong need for approval and positive regard
  • Emotionally manipulative and controlling of others
  • Exhibits unrealistic expectations in relationships
  • May exhibit high-risk behavior
  • Uses the person in a relationship (and even sex) to relieve pain
  • May use sexual relationships as a surrogate for intimacy
  • Puts a lot of energy into appearances and seems to “have it all together” to hide inner pain
  • Denial and hidden pain
  • Inability to trust anyone in a relationship
  • Combination of other addictions or compulsions
  • Hidden rage over early abandonment

Treatment For Love Addiction

The biggest roadblock to Savi’s recovery from love addiction was her denial. She was extremely invested in ensuring her world appeared perfect, frequently updating social media in an effort to brand herself as an enviable woman. She sought this approval from others because her mother and father had given her next to none. And as a result, they had failed to teach Savi how to find her own worthiness.

She had begun visiting her therapist for help with depression, after which her therapist suggested she consider love addiction. The symptoms resonated with her. Through the support of her therapist, she was able to cut through the denial, something that may not have happened another way. This is frequently the story of women seeking treatment for love and sex addiction — they don’t realize they have it and initiate treatment for something else. Once recognized and admitted, love addiction—like any addiction—can be treated.

Don’t Wait To Be Happy – Give Yourself The Attention And Care You Need And Have Always Deserved…Regardless Of How You Feel Right Now