What Are the Warning Signs for Co-Dependency and Co-Addiction?

Posted by on 07 05 13 in Co-Occurring Issues | Comments Off on What Are the Warning Signs for Co-Dependency and Co-Addiction?

It’s easy to lose oneself in daily activities. It can happen in work and in hobbies, but losing oneself in a relationship can be a clear indication of co-dependent behavior.

The co-dependent person develops a pleasure mechanism whereby they feel best when putting others first. But the selfless acts are often a way of manipulating another’s behavior with the end result being a reward of some kind for having been so nurturing to that person’s needs.

Most co-dependents have a hero complex whereby they derive great pleasure in being the person who controls the situation, whatever it may be, by controlling the choices that others make. For instance, a co-dependent will often make excuses for others so that they will make a decision in the direction that the co-dependent wishes, which means in a relationship with addiction involved, this can be detrimental.

A codependent doesn’t always have to be a manipulator. Some co-dependents might know better than to “be OK” with the decisions that their loved ones are making, but they don’t feel worthy enough to make changes or to seek out relationships that are healthier. This type of co-dependent also helps others makes poor decisions, but not for the same reasons that someone with a hero complex might.

The person who wants to save the day, so to speak, might lecture others to get them to make choices, or make them feel unable to make the right choices on their own, thereby putting the co-dependent in a role they might otherwise be unable to fill.

Being the messenger of uncomfortable news isn’t a strong component of a co-dependent’s personality. Most co-dependents won’t make attempts to correct poor behavior or set boundaries in relationships because they are afraid of creating any kind of tension or discomfort in the relationship. This behavior results in toxic relationships.